roots and wings Archives - A Country Girl's Heart -Beats that Matter

May 26, 2019July 9, 2019

Roots and Wings: Beats that Matter

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Often, I share what is happening on the farm, how I move forward in my homesteading journey or enjoy other parts of the country I have visited. In this post I get a bit more personal sharing about my unseen journey, of the heart….Beats that Matter.

I have always had an interest in animal husbandry and the biology of how a body functions both human and animal. There has long been a special place in my heart for the appearance of new life. The wonder of it all, the few moments that life hangs in the balance before arriving, the nurture of a new mom and the trust of a new born have repeatedly touched my heart in a special way. My first experiences go back to my childhood, observing, learning, and assisting with the birth of baby goats. In high school as a part of the farm lab in an Ag and Natural Resource class, I assisted a sow(pig). My journey with horses was only beginning and it has continued to this day.

I have consciously made the decision to step away from horses while pursuing different areas of my life. Music, the beginning of my homesteading journey, raising chickens, producing vegetables and fruit, and attending farmer’s markets along with this website have taken hours of my time, energy, and money. Yet, in the last 3 weeks, caring for equines, felines, and supporting those practicing veterinary medicine seemed to take up a much of my emotional and physical resources. Now, for certain, I do not regret any of it, but rather I have enjoyed the moments as they came. Anytime I have been involved in caring for animals both good and bad, tears and joy abound. These last few weeks have been no different. I have learned new information and put to use my previously acquired knowledge. One such way was in the joint effort of mare watch and foaling. I made an exception to my decision to step away from such activity while focusing on growing new ventures. Largely because, this was to help another human with her animal when she was not in a position physically to do so herself. You see, I have had to rely on others to help me with my animals when I did not feel good. Another time, I found myself alone, no help, with serious health struggles with a horse that needed around the clock care. I jumped at the chance to support another. I am not sure how many times I teared up, happy to be a part of helping. I felt the old adage, ‘It is better to give then to receive’. I will say no more, but rather share this 12-minute video of my wonderous moments.

These past two weeks allowed me to add to the portrait of who I am created to be. This journey called life unfolds much like the stroke of a painter’s brush bringing details of a picture into being as the Lord shows me who He created me to be. For that I am deeply thankful and growing confident in His leading while I grow roots in unseen soil. As the roots develop I am learning it is not about what field I work in, but rather, no matter where I am, I find much joy in encouraging others. Heartbeats that make a difference to those you are around. What are you doing while your heart beats?

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April 24, 2018April 29, 2018

Roots and Wings: New Life ~ Chickens

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Have you ever reached a point in the journey of your life, stopped for a moment and wondered, How did I get here? That describes how I have felt these last few weeks as I wrote about my memories of new life and how it pertained to goats and horses.

I turned down the opportunity to foal out mares this year. A difficult decision for me to reach, largely due to my health. Staying up all hours of the night disrupts the body’s circadian rhythm. This negatively impacts the adrenals. Since I am working to create an environment for mine to heal, I believe it would be counter productive. A smaller percentage of the picture is the fact that I have a limited amount of energy and I have chosen to direct it to my current goals of breeding chickens and a homestead lifestyle. I am hopeful that I will discover a way to add foaling mares back into my life in the future. If that doesn’t happen, I will simply relish the memories of that season. To read my blog on seasons click here.

Swedish Flower Hen chicks hatched at CG Heartbeats Farm

I adore babies of almost any species. Spring time brings new life in plant and animal form. I like to see the tiny plants pushing their way up through the soil, but not quit as much as seeing new life appear when a mother gives birth or an egg hatches.

How did I go from foaling out horse to hatching chicks? I see some humor in the fact that an egg or newly hatched chick is about the size of a foals hoof. Now that is quite a big difference, going from one to the other. My health goals have played a part in directing my current path. It is a simple truth that when making room for change in one’s life certain activities must be let go of to make room for new. An area I struggle with at times, letting go. Some days, I actively choose to stay focused on the new adventures.

Silver Gray Dorking and Swedish Flower Hen chicks hatched at CG Heartbeats Farm

Hatching chicks

Hens make hatching chicks easy. They do the work of an incubator and brooder after the hatch. One of the Swedish Flower Hens went broody last fall. Click here to read the story. The relationship a chick has with a broody hen seems like it would provide an education. However, the incubated chicks seem to know instinctively to peck at food and drink water. Again the power of new life is amazing.

Today, as I write, new life abounds around me in the form of hatching chicks. Yesterday, the little chirps greeted me before I even seen a pip. Today I have been privileged to watch them pop out of their shells. Some times I need to work hard to pop out of my shell. It is tempting to stay where it is safe, comfortable, and truthfully, easy. Working to get out of a shell takes effort, and then just when I accomplish breaking out, I find myself faced with changes. Like a chick who suddenly finds space to stretch and learn to walk and balance. Freedom to move is one of those changes. I mean what chick would want to stay cooped up in a shell. In reality, a chick dies if they don’t break out in time. Similarly, we risk a different kind of death( I am not referring to an eternal death here) if we too stay in our comfort zone.

Last year incubating chicks became a new challenge for me. I have used 3 different incubators to hatch chicks in the last year and a half. The Little Giant, Incuview and Janoel12 produced chicks, but offer different features that seem to influence hatch rates. The Little Giant, a styrofoam, I used only once when I borrowed from a friend. I hatched only 2 chicks. Perhaps with time and experience I may have improved the %. I like the plastic incubators best for the easier clean up after a hatch. Both the Incuview and Janoel12 are constructed of hard plastic. They clean up nicely. And oh those newly hatched chicks make a mess.

They are adorable though once they dry off and the fluffiness appears.

A discussion on different incubators would provide enough material for its own blog post. In the hatching course, I am preparing, I include info on different incubators and a worksheet to help you decide which one suites your financial need and personal preferences.

Consider joining the wait list while I finish up the e course on hatching chicken eggs. If you are not needing this type of information, perhaps you know someone to pass this opportunity onto? There are going to be a few bonuses for signing up early.

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April 10, 2018February 9, 2022

Roots and Wings: New Life ~ Horses

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Continuing the story concerning my passion for new life, this post shares briefly on the journey as it relates to horses. I say briefly because the experiences and stories might make up a small book. I am limiting my sharing to this blog post with no comment on the possibility of future stories. If you have not seen the first or second you may click on the underlined words to view.

Our pony, Glady, foaled when I was thirteen. This is where my love of new life birthed in a new species, horses. I remember sleeping in the barn a few nights to hopefully catch her foaling. I slept with blankets on bales of hay, NOT comfortable, but at 13 years old, it was an adventure. I must be getting soft, because my idea of adventure has shifted slightly. I can not say with certainty I would not sleep in a cold barn to watch a mare foal, cause likely I would. I simply much prefer a camera to view, a warm room and softer sleeping arrangements these days.

Life became busy in my teenage years and it was after my high school graduation that I was again blessed with a foal, re-kindling a flame.

The arrival of Roses Casino, out of a mare named Mismatched, created a story its own. While her arrival has a story to it, her impact on my life is currently an on going story.

Alas, it would be 5 more years until I foaled another mare of my own when Brave the Cold gave me Brave Diamond Dust. This time I had the privilege of studying the Book Blessed are the Broodmares by M. Phyllis Lose . I learned a lot. However, I had no experience knowing the difference between a tired pregnant mare resting at night and a mare actually foaling. I faithfully checked her during the night for close to 6 weeks. My excitement and anticipation for this foal, driving me to wonder about the meaning of her every move. One night I was certain something might be going on and called the only person I knew to ask, my farrier. Our families were friends and often his wife would invite us over for supper. But, I think he found me a bit overzealous to be bothering him in the middle of the night. Lesson learned! I smile at the memory! My consistency paid off and I was rewarded with being present for her foaling, a filly I called Dusty. This was the beginning of developing my eye for foaling and only added more to my passion for new life. To be honest, I have been fooled since thinking a mare was foaling when she wasn’t. However, it takes a bit more to fool me now. I would rather check on a mare and be wrong, than miss a foaling.

I was given the opportunity to spend time on a farm that foaled a few mares each year. Here I would trapes out in a 10 acre pasture to find the mares and look them over. I once found a foal stuck in the mud and pulled it out to return it to its mother. I was only gone for the evening and knew she was close. I checked her and found the foal. I guess by then I was getting a bit better at knowing what was a true sign and what was my anticipative thoughts. That said, I remember years later a mare I looked at that had NO bag, No softness under her tail, the slightest bit of change under her tail perhaps, but not presenting a picture of a mare ready to foal. Everyone was surprised she foaled that night. Now in this case, she did not even get her milk in for over 24 hrs after the foal was born. If I recall correctly, it was drug (hormone) induced.

Oh, do you see what I mean? I could share for days the stories I remember! I moved from this place with a bit more knowledge and a growing love for foaling out mares.

I spent the next 5 to 10 years focused on barrel racing and a bit of team roping. During this time I had only occasional reason to be involved in foaling out mares. One time, my mare who pregnant with twins lost them about 7 months. Another involved a friends 4 yr old Arabian mare who lost the foal due to a red bag. Several of us pulled for over an hour to remove the dead foal. The education I gained that day saved another foals life years later.

When I learned a veterinarian I had recently ask to work on my horses was involved in opening a foaling barn, I could not resist asking about the progress every single time I spoke with him. You see I had given thought to taking a job on a ranch in Wyoming to be in charge of foaling operations. I decided against it. Now a foaling barn would soon be in operation, locally. Offered a job there cleaning stalls, I took it. Employed there for 5 years, I gradually was given responsibility for overseeing the foaling mares. I loved watching the mares shape up to foal. Each one was different and I learned to expect the unexpected. Oh wait! In some ways I was that way from the beginning, perhaps the years of seeing goats do unpredictable things when kidding. They are different in some ways goats and horses. But then again new life is new life when it comes to the beauty of it and unpredicateble timing of arrival.

I probably do not even consciously remember all the mares I seen foal at the foaling barn. I often operated on 3 to 4 hours of sleep for months during the foaling season. There are some memories that stand out where I learned a new lesson or encountered a special moment. I could write a small book on those experiences alone. I grew my knowledge base of foaling out mares. The opportunity to see a wide range of breeds and sometimes special cases like a mare that was partially paralyzed allowed me to learn in a way no book can.

It has been almost 5 years since I ended my employment at the foaling barn. This was where my focus started to shift in a different direction. But last year I was ask to help foal out mares at another local barn and sure enough, my passion for foaling mares has not left me.

A part of shifting my focus involved starting to live a homestead life style on almost 12 acres. My love of new life has manifested itself in the form of hatching chicks. Stay tuned for New Life- Chickens.

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April 4, 2018April 4, 2018

Roots and Wings: New Life ~ Goats

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As a child I observed the birth of baby goats. I do not remember my age the first time I seen a baby born, but I may have been as young as 5. Perhaps I was in early elementary school. Somewhere along the way we lost a kid or a goat due to complications in the delivery process. I remember the frustration I felt, seemed like something could be done to help out.

Perhaps all the James Harriet books my Dad read me triggered the belief that I might be able to assist the does when they had trouble kidding. The next time I was alone with a doe who was having trouble giving birth or kidding, as it is called I decided to see what I could do. Feeling a bit apprehensive, I tentatively, reached my fingers in the birth canal found the missing leg that was just out of sight. I gently pulled the leg forward. Excitement rushed through my veins as the doe was able to complete the birth of a kid (baby goat). Looking back, the kids elbow may have been locked on the does pelvis. Thus, my journey as mid wife of sorts to animals found a place in my life. A new feeling to me, accomplishment, a new belief that maybe I could……make a difference, succeed, learn a new skill, and a belief in the importance of trying. I guess, the belief and the curiosity in what if I tried this(or that) may have been there all along or I would not have searched for the baby goats leg that was hindering its birth.

From that first kid where I pulled a leg forward to assist with a birth, I gradually learned to sort out more difficult kidding complications. As I recall my next challenge presented a kid with one leg and head present in the birth canal and one leg pointing down or back into the utertous. Again I reached in and found the hidden leg holding up the process and gently worked it forward, allowing for the kid to make easy passage and begin a life out of the womb.

Life as a (human) kid featuring the pet goat Jimmy.

Becoming bolder, I found myself facing two kids attempting simotanous birth. I remember feeling only slightly sorry for the doe. No time to think about the momentary pain I was causing her. I resolved the short lived pity of her pain with the thought that if I didn’t proceed the kids and her would loose their lives. I worked back the nose that did not belong pushing it farther back into the uterus. I may have needed to find a leg not properly positioned, or perhaps that was another time. I do not recall if there were twins or triplets born that day. I do recall the momentary joy as my confidence grew in the belief that in at least on area of my life I could make a difference.

This picture shows a mucus plug on a doe getting close to birthing or in goat terms, kidding.

As my confidence grew, I learned to reach into a goats birth canal when no kid was presented, but the goat was obviously straining in labor. I remember one particular time where no kid presented, but I found it in the uterous, its back bone pressed against the birth canal. This not only blocked its own birth it blocked the birth of the other 2 kids that were born that day. Before they could make an appearance, I pushed the kid further in the uterous to reposition it allowing it to come out into the world via the birth canal. In the process, everything became funny! The doe was less than convinced I was truly helping her and instead of laying down she began moving rapidly around the pen. I stayed with her, my arm still lodged inside working to move the kid into position. She laid down again and the kid was born. I likely will not forget the memory of that experience. Of course, this was over 30 years ago and technology did not lend to the ease for videoing the process. Recalling this story causes me to laugh inside for the picture I must have presented.

Goats also influenced my life as the first animal I exhibited.

Not only did I learn this skill, I developed a passion for new life. A passion that carried over when I found what I call my heart animal, horses. Looking back I am amazed at the timing in which each lesson presented itself. Had I faced the doe in labor with no kid visible, first, the doe and all 3 kids would have died. I would not have been prepared or confident enough to sort out that problem. Today as I write and think how perfectly each incident went from a small challenge to a slightly bigger one. It feels like God’s hand wrote the process. Did He orchestrate my education? And if so what was He preparing me for? I can look back and see where my passion led me up to now, but I do not see why! The why of how my life abruptly changed and headed down a different path on the surface largely rests on choices I made, but in the bigger picture(the strong passion for birthing animals I have always felt), I am uncertain. I trust the message of Philippians 1:6(KJV) that says, “…..He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

As I ponder, I have to ask where else in my life has this kind of learning process occurred?

Mare and foal before the foal stood for the first time.

On a lighter note: Next in this series, I share about how my experience birthing goats fueled my passion for new life in the form of a horse. I could write a book about foaling out mares, but for now I will limit my sharing to a blog post.

If you have ever witnessed or helped an animal give birth, what was your experience? Leave a reply in the comments.

This is the second post on New Life to read the first click here. If you would like to watch a video of a chick hatching be sure to enter your info below.

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March 28, 2018April 11, 2018

Roots and Wings: New Life

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Almost all of my life, I found time standing still for the presentation of new life in animal form. I have not kept track of the times I have observed, and sometimes assisted, in animal births. I am pretty sure the list includes goats, pigs, cattle, dogs, cats, horses and chickens. From an early age the process has inspired me, leaving an almost spiritual experience impression on my heart. Now to be sure the few times a mother’s life was lost in the process damped my enthusiasm, but has not eradicated my love for the process of new life appearing to the world. Oh yes, I have been privileged to observe the appearance of human babies on 3 occasions, but with an almost tear in my eye, never my own.

New life in the form of animal and human births present like the beauty of a new day, a sunrise, a new start, a new journey. Maybe that lies at the heart of my passion for the birthing process. Beautiful expectations for all the untapped possibilities, dreams and discoveries of potential capabilities envelope new life. I often felt a bit of anxiety and fear as well. Knowing the importance of timing for everything to go right leaves me feeling I witnessed a miracle. New life amazes me for all the development that occurs out of sight with a mothers womb. Aside from a larger abdomen and some rapid belly movements there is no outside indication of the inside growth and development. I think God works in our lives that way from the inside out. He speaks to our hearts and helps us make these little changes that over time appear in big ways. I suppose, truthfully this process might lead us the other direction if we are giving an ear to the devil. Makes a pretty strong argument for the importance of learning to know the voice of Lord.

On a complete side note: As I was writing this last paragraph I heard the distinct chirp of a baby chick from the incubator. No visible pips yet, but there is a definite chirp coming from across the room…New life! My heart leapt and I felt compelled to put the computer down to have a look. I could not find a single pip, perhaps it is out of sight or not quite through the shell. Fitting for the current topic!

Spring represents new life. Flowers, and plants begin pushing new growth up through the soil. Trees grow new leaves. Spring commonly presents the time frame for animal births too. While I have been present for the birth of several different species, I am going to speak to the three most common in my life: goats, horses, and chickens. This post is the first in a short series of 4 where I will be sharing a few stories of my animal birthing experiences.

To be honest, there are a few times the stories sadly ended in the loss of life. In those hard moments, I have questioned if I ever wanted to be present for another birth. The truth is, the good out weighs the bad for me. I would not trade the moments of joy just to avoid the painful ones.

Have you ever experienced the birth of an animal? If so please leave a comment telling about it. Would you like to see a chick emerging from its shell? Use the form below to receive a free video of a chick hatching.

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December 18, 2017December 19, 2017

Roots and Wings: My Favorite Holiday

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Exciting! In one week, we get to celebrate Christmas, my favorite holiday!

I was born on Christmas. It was no easy feat to even arrive. I required a forceps and broke my moms tail bone getting here. I have in years past, and may again, been unhappy with the fact that I was turning one year older, but not this year!! I am choosing to take a look back and celebrate the victory of some of what I have lived through. I am choosing to feel thankful I survived a traumatic brain injury, broken pelvic bone, among other not so serious horse wrecks and, daily, I have awakened every morning to date, despite, low sugars, struggling adrenal glands, and low thyroid. Yep! I am going to celebrate!!

I have many fond memories of Christmas. One of the earliest, is going to my grandmas house to decorate the Christmas tree. Memories of home made gifts from relatives. A couple that come to mind at the moment are the cross stitched picture of a barrel racer with the words ‘dare to dream’. Shelves made by my uncle and grandpa which still hang in my house to this day. Homemade gifts are the best kind, in my opinion.

The presence of loved ones, a few who are no longer living on earth, are the memories I cherish the most. I carry the sound of their laughter, singing, and words of wisdom in my heart. Speaking of singing, a Christmas tradition I enjoy is caroling. It is not a tradition in the sense that I go every year. But when I do, the warmth in my heart over rides the cold air, that along with insulated Muck boots and Carhartts.

My intention is to impart specific impressions into the heart of those loved near and far. Encouragement, hope, joy, laughter, and a knowledge of the importance the difference a relationship with a Savior makes when times get tough. What better time of the year to sow seeds into others lives? This year I am looking for ways I can be intentional when it comes to connecting with people near and far.

There is a more important celebration than my birth happening across the world on December 25th. Jesus, God’s only Son, entered our world all to become our Savior. This often has me feeling my birthday pales in comparison.

I like Christmas for the gathering of relatives and for a period of time one can immerse in the reminder of what it is like to have faith. Not in Santa, but in a God who sent His son to eventually die for me, for us all. That is a pretty special gift wrapped up in a baby.

What are the ways you make connections with those close to your heart no matter the physical distance? Sending cards? Gifts? Caroling? A phone call? Enjoying a meal together? Viewing Christmas lights?

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December 15, 2017December 19, 2017

Roots and Wings: Christmas Candy

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I had the pleasure of making Christmas candy with a neighbor and friend last evening. I met her a little over a year ago. I stopped by her house to introduce myself as I realized there were people living in a house that had been empty. She had moved into the area from Iowa. I learned I am the same age as her mother. That felt weird to me at first. It doesn’t seem that long ago I was her age. We became friends quickly and last year made Christmas candy and snacks together. I hosted last year and this year was her turn. We intend to make this a tradition.

The snow flakes were speedily blowing across the landscape as I drove the short distance to her house. I admit, I entertained visions of driving a sleigh instead of my old car.

We chatted and laughed while we made chocolate covered pretzel complete with sprinkles, buck eyes, chocolate covered peanut butter sandwich crackers, and home made peppermint patties.

I snacked on the Chex mix she had taken out of the oven soon after I arrived. We drank coffee and told each other stories. Oh, did I say we laughed a lot? We did!! We decided to play Justified – Once in a Manger while we were crafting yummy sweets. She told me a story of when her little sisters were in the area to visit.

She said, ” Oh you should have seen them. They gathered all their dolls, stuffed animals, blankets and pillows around the lap top and huddled there, listening to your CD.” (Justified ~ Once in A Manger) My heart was blessed. A warmth filled my heart and bubbled out of my eyes ever so discreetly. How precious to have made a difference in the lives of little ones. I shared with her the special memories I had as Sheila, my Mother and I put the CD together. I am thankful that even though I was going through some dark moments personally while we put the CD together, the Lord can show up and bring beauty out of ashes.

These moments spent in the presence of people dear to our hearts are moments that live on much longer than presents under the tree. I challenge you to find ways to be intentional about what is important, no matter what struggle you are facing.

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November 22, 2017November 26, 2017

Roots and Wings: Importance of Peripheral View

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I am an advocate of intentional planning to be sure, but certain excellent experiences lurked in my periphery. I heard this idea put into words recently.

Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, you won’t see the shiny thing out of the corner of your eye. ~ Tim Minchen

A few such times come to mind in my life. One was modeling with my mare, Roses Casino, for Lakota Trailers billboard and (2008,2009) product catalog, going turtle feeling(don’t ask), and making a Christmas CD as the lead singer. These were never life long goals of mine. I wonder if that is why the Lord often shows us the next step and not the whole journey? To be certain, I had already developed basic skills allowing me to be ready for these events. With a bit of coaching, I enjoyed them to them to the fullest!!

Justified and the making of a Christmas CD

Deciding on the songs

All three of us, Sheila, my Mom and myself, spend many hours deciding on songs for the CD. One of us would suggest and if it did not pass for the other two or if it was going to take too much time to learn we scratched it! If my memory serves me correct, the list was never finalized until the recording began. I think we had 12 songs picked out and ended up with 10.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

We would get together for a few hours and practice 1 or 2 times a week. My Mother often made a 3 hour round trip for our practice. To save on gas and time she would spend the night at Sheila’s house or mine. I look back on that time with warm feelings of the fun we all had.

In the Studio…

Laying the basic track with basic vocal. I sang lead vocal while the basic instruments were recorded, guitar, drums, bass, and some keyboard. My vocals were later scraped, or dubbed over for my actual vocals on the CD.

Adding the vocals to the basic track. I did most of the lead. On some songs, we featured my Mom’s wonderful soprano, and Sheila’s beautiful voice. I learned harmony lines in parts of Silent Night, Down From His Glory, and O Holy Night. I think Sheila and my Mom probably reached deep for the patience to teach me those lines. Remember I had spent the last 30 years focused on horses, not music. I did learn. Between their coaching and taking fiddle lessons, I am beginning to develop my ear.

Instrument fills when recording songs allow for ones artistic side to fully express itself. My Mom and Sheila were not newbies in the studio like me. They had a definite ideas about what they wanted where. By the time we were done with the CD I had even voiced a few thoughts as to what I was hearing as well. How fun to find a new way to express my artistic side.

Sheila worked in the studio we recorded in. She led us as the project manager and edited the CD with input from my Mother. The mixing and producing credits appear on the CD.

Ordering CD’s

We opted to order the CDs from a company in Texas. An early winter storm brought shipping to a stand still. A consequent delay of 3 to 4 weeks left less than 2 weeks until Christmas when we finally received our CD’s to sell. We did eventually have them. I recall my excitement!

Summery

This particular project signifies my musical roots. I did not dream of being a lead singer on a CD as a child. While I have always loved music I did not believe it to even be up for consideration until the year it happened. My mother, on the other hand, had been offered a place in the Nashville scene with her sisters as a late teen. (They declined.) I grew up in the shadow of regret for her dream that got away. The time spent while working on this project with my mother allowed me to connect with her and see her musical gift brought into fruition once again. For me, I woke up to a part of me that never had enough of my attention.

Would you like to hear a song from the CD?

Do you have a copy of Justified – Once in A Manger? Would you like one? To order send an email by filling out this form.

Shiny Spots in my Peripheral View

I have to ask, what is lurking in my periphery now? What is lurking in yours?

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November 13, 2017November 15, 2017

Roots and Wings: Seasons

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Transitions in my life proved difficult for me. Truthfully, only in the last four or five years was I even conscious I struggled when faced with change. Any changes happening out of my control I seemed to temporarily lose my way. In addition, I have noticed myself avoiding certain decisions for the changes they would bring. Feels easier to stay in my comfort zone. The recent health struggles I have faced made it difficult and not in my best interest to continue the path I was on.

Have you ever had a skill set that was no longer an option to use? I had the privilege of riding with my 10-year-old niece on the foothills of the Canadian Rockies. I rode a horse that acted ‘green’. For those of you that are unfamiliar with that term, that represents the opposite of a quiet, broke horse. A ‘green’ horse is one a skilled or experienced rider would be able to handle. He was over all good but I forgot he was ‘green’ pulled my leg up fast to fix the bottom of my pant leg. The quick unexpected movement startled him and sent him sideways. Not bragging but sharing an example…I never lost my seat, shortened my reins as we were going sideways, and settled him down. I have some skills when it comes to staying on the back of a horse. I can be and have been dumped with the best of them too. Ha! Ha!

As for seasons of change, while I can still stay on the back of a horse, fatigued adrenal glands leave me feeling exhausted after a short one or two-hour ride. On top of feeling tired, I run the risk of adrenal crisis if the cortisol levels get too low. I do still make cortisol on a daily basis and I am thankful for that. I find myself feeling weak and tiring easier as blood work shows I do not make the extra in times of crisis. Seems one needs that extra when dealing with an unruly horse or certain aspects of training and riding. Changes…I have the skills but it is not in my best interest to use them, at least for the current time frame. Seasons of change that open doors of unplanned opportunity are hard to see looking backward.

There is beauty in different seasons. Growing up in southern Michigan we enjoyed spring, summer, fall, and winter. Each one can be enjoyed, but in different ways. Seasons require me to let go before as I move on to the next. We do not walk around in winter clothing during summer months, right? Even animals change with the seasons, loosing a summer coat and growing a winter coat. Do you know what I like best about the changing of seasons? Knowing as long as the Earth exists, a season will come around again. Why not enjoy the one I am in?

No two seasons are exactly alike. As humans we look for similarities documenting weather patterns, but the truth is no two are exactly alike. The Creator demonstrates His diversity. One can never go back, but I can look forward to how the previous season presents itself the next time around. Uniqueness abounds and who am I to bulk at that?

The last few years feel like a chicken molting. Their feathers fall out and they look pretty ugly until the new ones grow in. Seasons of change have produced the beginning of this homesteading journey. I believe there are other feathers growing in too, yet to be discovered. Stick around for the details….

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August 9, 2017November 2, 2017

Roots and Wings

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I have spent more of my life soaring around if you will. I realized in the last couple years I have been gradually growing roots. This land I have been living on has been my home for 9 years. Prior record for living in one spot was 3 years. I moved 15 times in 16yrs.

Today I was reminded how these roots started growing long before they were planted. Like a sweet potato or a grape vine has the ability to grow roots in water, my desire for all things country began as a child. I grew up loving to be full of movement, and the fresh air brought peace to my soul. Caring for animals was a large part of my life at an early age. I have realized that it simply does not come natural for me to harvest, kill, cull and animal. I can and I have, but it feels like a round peg being shoved in a square hole. I am all about eating meat and better yet meat that I know how it was raised. But the actual act of taking a life makes my heart cringe. I enjoy the gutting, skinning and dissecting of parts into cuts of meat. But the taking of life leaves me feeling down. I want to give, nurture, care for and bless others. My aunt told me a story today of how I could not stand the idea of killing a mole in her yard when I was a little girl. I guess I was quite upset over the issue and my Moms response at the time? Oh she cannot stand killing anything not even a fly. I believe God created me for a specific purpose, perfect in design. I love these little titbits into the little girl. I am looking at roots for who I was created to be…before all the lies, hurts and disappointments.

I was reminded of how different my world was as child, who I was as a little girl watching old family videos. I have lost her somewhere. From time to time I have seen a glimpse of her when running on a sand bar in a low area of the Yellow River with a 6 yr old girl, or giving a 3 yr old a short bareback ride on McCoy and seeing her determined little face that she would keep her balance and stay with that horse when it moved even if it scared her a little. Recently via an old family video, I actually saw her running around in her aunt’s yard and sitting on a metal swing with her sister, being pushed by her aunt and mother. I had to ask myself….what happened to her? At what point did she become someone who wanted to give up? Who felt defeated and hopeless? Who recently wrote…I let people down and I am always late? Who feels overwhelmed and like she is not enough? What kind of lies has she bought into that led to this shift? More accurately is the defeat and hopeless beliefs what she focused her energy on? Cause they were always lurking in the little girl. Where did 30 years go?

I have flown when adventure called

I have soared when I wanted to fall

I have tripped when I misunderstood

Wanting, longing if only u would

I seen what I wanted to see

Truth was not what I wanted it to be.

Inspired by King Solomon I prayed for wisdom as a child

I found parts of mine after living in the wild

My desire to grow keeps burning in my heart

I am a seed planted, Growing roots …..a start!

Follow along via this blog as I discover the layers of the heart of a country girl and build a homestead lifestyle.