Encouragement Archives - A Country Girl's Heart -Beats that Matter

May 1, 2018June 7, 2018

Pryor Mountain Horse Range ~ Part 1

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I ended the blog post titled Yellowtail Swimming Hole sharing my belief that the Lord had an encounter with the wild mustangs that was just for me. That a special moment would happen and I would know without a doubt it was intended for me. That is all I had was belief that had well up in me. Truthfully this doesn’t happen often to me. I had no conscious idea of how it would happen or when it would happen. Simply a belief that it would. This happened on a Sunday. Fast forward to Wednesday when a friend of my sister offered to take me to the Prior Horse Range. This time we were driving to the top of the range and the top of the Pryor Mountains. The Yellowtail, where we had been swimming a few days before was visible from our location on the mountain.

The Yellowtail, where we went swimming a few days before is pictured in the distant body of water. Photo credit: Denise Connelly

But first we spent about 2 – 3 hours driving. The first half of that time we were on paved roads, but the last half was a rutted, bumpy, dirt track. The closer we came to the top, the worse the ruts, it seemed. I was naushas going up and down the mountain. Oh, no worries, I would do it all over again. The experience at the top was worth it all. Life is like that too, isn’t it?

We finally reached this sign, but no mustangs in sight.

A short while later we pulled to the side of the two track drive. My new found friends believed this area to be one of two watering holes in this area of the mustang range. Here was a sign with a few need to know facts and important behaviors to maintain around the wild horses. As a horse owner for over 30 years who had earned a reputation (I have been told) for being a bit crazy, I honestly did not give much thought to the ‘rules’. I felt super excited to be on the mustang range…now to see some wild mustangs!!! I am not sure if I realized at this time that this range was home to Cloud. Cloud, made famous by the 3 part PBS series to increase awareness for wild mustangs, lived out his life of 20 years under the watchful, but non-intrusive, presence of humans with cameras rolling.

Wild horse habitat had my attention. The dry forage, trails and this beautiful watering hole, but so far no mustangs.

There was one more watering hole to check out farther on ahead. Oh when I think of physical peace on earth, it was the time spent on this mountain top! A similar feeling to what I often had when foaling out mares. The view that appeared before me became eye candy to my soul.

I bask in the breezes and deeply smelled the fresh mountain air as I found myself walking across the mountain top.

I told my compainions, “Don’t mind me, I am gonna go be with the horses.” I took a deep breath as I walked away down the hill. To translate my meaning..“I am gonna go be one with the horses.” After all, I knew the Lord had a special moment for me, as promised a few days earlier.

A cremello colt caught my eye and I ambled that direction.

Camera in hand, I took pictures of 3 adults and 2 foals walking along.

I did not see a stallion with this group, odd I thought. I took a few more steps toward 4 horses to my right. I seen a stallion, obvious to me, root his nose in the air, toward the other 3 horses directing them to run towards me.

My thoughts were racing. ‘Nothing around to hide behind‘ as my first instinct was to run and hide. Next idea: An embankment, ‘perhaps if I could reach the other side it would offer some protection’. I took two steps to my right only to realize the timing did not work for that plan. If continued on that path those 3 horses would plow me over. On the path ahead of me the stallion charged toward me, ears pinned back.

Now I have been rushed by a stallion before, but NOT a wild one! At which time while somewhat fearful, I side stepped at the last minute to avoid being trampled. This was different. I felt scared, picturing a rearing, stomping, wild stallion. I am not sure scared truly defines the emotions I felt. Terrified might be more accqurate, as my mind logically realized potential death by trampling. I planted my feet. As he barreled toward me, I waited briefly until he was almost a stride and a half from me. I extended my arms out in front of me, placing one hand over the other and clasping my fingers together. Intuitively, I waited for the perfect time, feet still planted, I decisively pushed my hands up and down in short motions. These movements communicate to a horse that I am creating a boundry or in human terms personal space. Amazingly he shifted his direction and ran by me, kicking out as he went by. Perhaps he was being playful or defiant, but at least he was respectful of my communication to him. I immediately dropped my hands, shoulders, and head to indicate I presented no threat. I might have snuck a peak over my shoulder to see his response, an ear was cocked my way. Guess I had his attention.

As I walked up back up towards the others, I felt alive, more alive than I had in some time. Exhilerated might describe it, but I don’t know that I have felt quite the way I was feeling before or since. “I don’t want to do it ever again, but that was AWESOME!!!!” , was my statement. Denise told me, “I was sure we were going to need to have you life-flighted off the mountain.”

Another look at the stallion I later learned had a name. His ear was still cocked my direction. I snapped a quick picture.

How special to have a moment of communication with a wild stallion, I thought. I will be honest, I had a desire to continue interacting with him, but my common sense and logic won. A reminder from my fellow man regarding the rule to stay 100 feet from the horses chided my wish. “Perhaps another day, in another place and time the opportunity will present itself,” I consoled my desire with that thought. I decided to be happy with the moments I had been given.

In awe, I strolled, at safe distance from the other bands, and took pictures.

Remember the first watering hole we stopped at? One more treat awaited me back there…to be continued.

Denise and her husband kindly transported and shared this adventure. Denise takes beautiful pictures and owns a better camera. Generously, She allowed me to use photos of me shot the day we experienced this story. Credit for her photos are noted under applicable pictures. Every year she offers calendars for sale featuring Wyoming wildlife. To order your own beautiful calendar, email her at:

dconnelly1970@gmail.com

Read other posts about the Pryor Mountain horse range:

Yellowtail Swimming Hole

Pryor Mountain Horse Range ~ part 2

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November 22, 2017November 26, 2017

Roots and Wings: Importance of Peripheral View

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I am an advocate of intentional planning to be sure, but certain excellent experiences lurked in my periphery. I heard this idea put into words recently.

Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, you won’t see the shiny thing out of the corner of your eye. ~ Tim Minchen

A few such times come to mind in my life. One was modeling with my mare, Roses Casino, for Lakota Trailers billboard and (2008,2009) product catalog, going turtle feeling(don’t ask), and making a Christmas CD as the lead singer. These were never life long goals of mine. I wonder if that is why the Lord often shows us the next step and not the whole journey? To be certain, I had already developed basic skills allowing me to be ready for these events. With a bit of coaching, I enjoyed them to them to the fullest!!

Justified and the making of a Christmas CD

Deciding on the songs

All three of us, Sheila, my Mom and myself, spend many hours deciding on songs for the CD. One of us would suggest and if it did not pass for the other two or if it was going to take too much time to learn we scratched it! If my memory serves me correct, the list was never finalized until the recording began. I think we had 12 songs picked out and ended up with 10.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

We would get together for a few hours and practice 1 or 2 times a week. My Mother often made a 3 hour round trip for our practice. To save on gas and time she would spend the night at Sheila’s house or mine. I look back on that time with warm feelings of the fun we all had.

In the Studio…

Laying the basic track with basic vocal. I sang lead vocal while the basic instruments were recorded, guitar, drums, bass, and some keyboard. My vocals were later scraped, or dubbed over for my actual vocals on the CD.

Adding the vocals to the basic track. I did most of the lead. On some songs, we featured my Mom’s wonderful soprano, and Sheila’s beautiful voice. I learned harmony lines in parts of Silent Night, Down From His Glory, and O Holy Night. I think Sheila and my Mom probably reached deep for the patience to teach me those lines. Remember I had spent the last 30 years focused on horses, not music. I did learn. Between their coaching and taking fiddle lessons, I am beginning to develop my ear.

Instrument fills when recording songs allow for ones artistic side to fully express itself. My Mom and Sheila were not newbies in the studio like me. They had a definite ideas about what they wanted where. By the time we were done with the CD I had even voiced a few thoughts as to what I was hearing as well. How fun to find a new way to express my artistic side.

Sheila worked in the studio we recorded in. She led us as the project manager and edited the CD with input from my Mother. The mixing and producing credits appear on the CD.

Ordering CD’s

We opted to order the CDs from a company in Texas. An early winter storm brought shipping to a stand still. A consequent delay of 3 to 4 weeks left less than 2 weeks until Christmas when we finally received our CD’s to sell. We did eventually have them. I recall my excitement!

Summery

This particular project signifies my musical roots. I did not dream of being a lead singer on a CD as a child. While I have always loved music I did not believe it to even be up for consideration until the year it happened. My mother, on the other hand, had been offered a place in the Nashville scene with her sisters as a late teen. (They declined.) I grew up in the shadow of regret for her dream that got away. The time spent while working on this project with my mother allowed me to connect with her and see her musical gift brought into fruition once again. For me, I woke up to a part of me that never had enough of my attention.

Would you like to hear a song from the CD?

Do you have a copy of Justified – Once in A Manger? Would you like one? To order send an email by filling out this form.

Shiny Spots in my Peripheral View

I have to ask, what is lurking in my periphery now? What is lurking in yours?

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September 21, 2017October 8, 2017

And the Greatest is Love

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Along the lines of keeping my farm/homestead experience honest I am moved to write this post. I have been struggling to stay positive and it began the night of my aunts passing on July 31, 2017. Grieving is expressed through various emotions over time and loosing my horse McCoy added a sadness of its own. I needed to look deeper for the root of my heartache and the Lord is showing me a little at a time areas I need him to heal my heart in. Sunday I was feeling better, nothing like sitting around the campfire with friends Saturday night to ease ones pain. But a series of events had me reeling back into heartache by Tuesday morning.

Finding one of my grow out Silver Gray Dorking birds dead Sunday night had me perplexed. Finding another Monday morning and then Monday night was upsetting me! I found a clue though. Blood in the stool of the living birds in that pen lead me to believe they were fighting cocidiosis. Not completely uncommon for chickens to acquire. I felt self loathing creeping in. I had not kept their pen clean like my heart intended. For over 2 weeks upon returning from being gone for over 4 weeks, I had been able to do only what was absolutely necessary. I want to insert here that I struggle with low functioning adrenal glands, leaving me easily exhausted. I am learning to pick and choose how and where to expend my energy. Also these chicks were hatched to sell, not to keep. The intended buyer was unable to take them and I found myself raising chicks I had not planned on. Monday night I began treatment for cocidiosis, removed them from their pen, and began cleaning the pen they had been housed in. No rain was forecast to my knowledge. I looked.

Tuesday morning I had hopes of attending the Scottish Highland show at the St. Joseph County Fair in Centerville, MI. Attending the 2016 show taught me basics of where the breed is today while providing an opportunity to meet SCH breeders. I awoke to realize that it had rained overnight on the Silver Gray Dorking grow outs and one of the newly hatched chicks did not make it. (That chick was in the barn) No cattle show for me, I was staying home to attend to the animals I have. I am not sure what happened to the one little chick. Perhaps another hen had killed it? Not sure, but I had believed it to be safe. Lesson learned! That being said I am still working on a plan to move the momma and baby to a different area. So far as of Wed morning the other chick is doing well. New pen for them is in the works. I felt horrible the grow out SGD chicks had no cover from the rain and dealing with an illness to boot. By Tue evening I had 6 left. I doubted some of them would survive, but at that point I only wanted to show them love. I do not like to play God and decide who lives and who dies. Although I have in the past culled diseased chickens.

One protocol for not spreading disease is to care for the sick chickens last. I practiced this yesterday, spending my energy first cleaning waters and caring for the healthy chickens to help prevent future illnesses. After that I brought the sick chickens into my house. Some I warmed with a hair dryer. I have saved kittens that way in the past. One in particular I spent well over an hour removing eggs from it’s feathers. It seemed like it had some fight in it. Little thing woke me up chirping during the night. The only way to quiet it was to sit by it or hold it. I opted to wrap it in a towel and sleep with it sitting on my chest on the recliner. I don’t know if it is going to make it or not, but I know I showed it kindness and comfort by holding it.

These events have me questioning my goals and my ability to achieve them. My head knows, setbacks are common and no failure only feed back. My heartache and feelings of failure threaten to overtake my thought patterns. Oh, but I know I can change my thoughts. I am reminded that the Lord says He loves me in spite of my shortcomings. That I am more than my failures. I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)

It seems the more I have been hurt, the harder it is to put myself out there. For instance, I felt hesitant to put forth too much effort to save those growing SGD yesterday. I felt, what would it matter, they might die anyway. After all, I had pushed myself beyond what I felt capable of to try to save McCoy and I lost him anyway. I prayed and found peace in the simple act of showing these birds love even if I knew they probably were not going to make it. Translate to human relationships. I find it easy after being wounded by people or circumstances for me to withdraw and give up. It feels safer to stop putting my true heart out for all to see. Truth is my expected outcome is not the most important when relating to others. Knowing that I showed someone love while maintaining healthy boundries becomes more important than my personal expectations of a particular outcome.

I am still discovering take away lessons from the first half of this week. I tend to feel like things are my fault. I strive to look for what I can do differently. I see several areas that a different choice on my part would have provided a different outcome. Feeling like a failure seems to follow. I need to remember NO failure, only feed back! Have you ever felt like you were not enough? That it might be easier to give up on a dream or plan? Or perhaps give up on yourself? Leave me a message or a comment about how you went from a valley to a mountain top. If we are honest, we all have both in our lives, don’t we?

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