I celebrated Christmas in a different way this year. I often find myself missing someone at Christmas and feeling lonely. It gets in my way of enjoying the day. Now I know grieving the loss of a loved one is going to happen, but this has become a pattern for me. A habit of wanting what is not going to be and choosing to live in the pain.
Some of the people I miss are my sisters and their families. They live a long distance from me and our connections take place during warmer months of the year. Largely due to the extra work it takes to care for my animals when we are having winter weather and the expense of travel I do not see them during the Christmas Season. I decided this year I was going to live in the moment(s) and enjoy myself in my current circumstances.
I created Christmas DVDs for each of their families and mailed them early so they would be able to view them Christmas day. I pictured a Christmas morning at their individual houses and the kids viewing the DVD’s. I left it to my sisters discretion of when it actually fit into their day the best. I knew that I was making a connection with my nieces and nephews even if I was not there in person. One of my sisters text me the kids were re-watching the video and the youngest was jabbering through the video. I guess she liked seeing the pictures of herself and her siblings on the TV screen. While it was special to hear the reactions, even without, I had a fullness and peace on my heart with the knowledge that I had planned for a way to connect with them.
Knowing I enjoy children, I decided to make plans with a different branch of the family. I felt compelled to invest in the lives of my in-laws. I made plans, but they did not turn out quite what I orginally imagined. As Christmas day unfolded, I learned, many I invited were not going to be able to attend. I had peace (that passed understanding). For you see, I believed in my heart that I planned and acted on the Lords prompting in my heart. I realized that He had prompted me to act and plan knowing full well how the day would reveal itself. He would use my actions as he had planned. It was only me who had a preconceived notion of ‘why’ I was doing the things I was doing. I could choose to be disappointed, if I wanted to be. In this circumstance, I rested in knowing He had it covered all along. Nothing happened this Christmas that He didn’t see coming. With that outlook the day was a complete success!!!! I rested in knowing He had it planned this way all along!!!
It was a cold after noon and I spent the remainder of the day caring for the animals. I believe my PM chores took me about 2 hours. What did I do when I was done? I fell asleep!!!! It was a restful, peaceful sleep, with the feeling of contentment and a happy heart! I had lived fully in each moment of the day!!
What did Christmas mean to you this year?