This blog often focuses on gardening, chickens and homesteading ventures. This post in honor of the season, I reflect, I share, from what is on my heart in my everyday life this week. It is a process we all, I hope, are traveling as we strive to homestead, raise our own food and connect with others along the way.
I have been thinking about perfection. My week itself lacked, the last two weeks, in fact and as I think about it the last few years. When I look back a tiny bit farther my entire life. I missed the mark over and over. I have a long list of where I have fallen short of expectations both by myself, others and what I understand the Bible to teach.
Now I ask myself who sets the mark? That mark I aim for. Whose standard is it? As I am the one striving toward this perfect (fil in the blank), what motivates me to pick that as the ultimate place of achievement?
M. Graber
What my parents thought, my grandparents? My teachers, my extended family? Schoolmates and friends? Jesus and God? Keeping up with societies expectations? Now that is an ever-changing mark.
I know from experience when learning or teaching there are different levels of ‘good’. The first time I picked up the fiddle, I struggled to hold the bow properly. Over time I improved, but in the 2 years I practiced, I am not certain I had attained perfection. That kind of perfection takes hours of practice. Now there is a thought. Reaching perfection takes repeated repetition. In other words, practice, and in essence experience. One only gains experience by trying repeatedly or practice. Focus goes a long way in producing a ‘perfect practice’ as does confidence. When those two elude me, I feel as if I am climbing a mountain on my hands and knees, clawing for every little progress.
Might perfection be in the eye of the beholder? Perhaps, but God sent Jesus to be a perfect example of how to live life. He nailed it and was nailed to the cross because of it. He chose to be a perfect sacrifice. He knew He had a job to do and He did it. Perfectly.
Last night Justified and my nieces and nephews took part in the Holy Walk in Bremen, Indiana. Justified, the name my Mom, Sheila, and I decided on when making a Christmas CD in 2013 have a soundtrack to sing too. My voice weak, Sheila could hardly sing, and my Mom at 78 bravely tried to focus. Her brother and my uncle had passed away that morning. She said it did not seem real. I venture to guess; she simply did not have the energy to process the fact and carry on with the day’s events.
Months ago, we planned to attend the Bremen Holy Walk and include the nieces and nephews. A meaningful way to connect with the next generation. Canada and Wyoming families were put on notification to prep for this event before arriving. My nieces and nephews love to hatch and carry out plans. The 2 Canada nieces prepared a song to sing and had practiced. Sheila jumped in to provide keyboard music. I knew her capabilities. My niece from Wyoming had practiced playing piano and brought books along to play.
Informed I was to organize the order we sang, I put the song order together. All the younger nieces and 3 nephews would join us in a couple group songs. We sang and played each with our own insecurities and horse voices, not enough preparation to be perfect, the underlying grief that our family member had passed on, and all the nerves that come when in front of an audience. The Canadian nieces sang a pretty song about Mary’s labor of love. The Wyoming niece played Away in A Manger while we gathered the younger children into a group to sing. We sang, with the children, imperfectly, but they had an experience of sharing in song.
They all headed out to the Holy Walk and Justified stayed to sing. I am not sure we have ever done such a performance. It was almost painful. I had 2 days prior, battling a 102.5 temp, I decided I was singing for the Lord that night. That resolve stayed with me. He promises in 2 Corinthians “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” (KJV) I move forward trusting He will use what we presented in our imperfect performance to His needs.
If I waited for all to be perfect before I did anything, there is little I would have ever done. Barrel racing, riding a horse, roping, playing instruments, singing, relating to others, speaking my heart, more recently raising chickens, gardening, building and operating a website, learning how to structure and maintain an online business, selling products at farmer’s markets all manifested complete with their imperfections.
I showed up striving to do my best. There have been times my best was better than other times. I learned 25 years ago the danger of deciding I did not care. I care. I care to do my best.
As for last night it had its perfections woven in the imperfections. I hugged my Mom as we finished up our last song. She called I love you as I was leaving after I had told each child what a great job they had done. They had done excellent. The children and their mothers, and grandfather had experienced the Holy Walk. We had connected as a family while sharing the gift of music and the message of Jesus with others. I long to be perfect, have perfect performances. We are called to be perfect as Christ was perfect.
Again, whose standards decided perfection? Most would not consider a birth in a stable fit for a king. But it was perfect for God’s plan.
What first step (seemingly imperfect by someone’s standards) do you need to take today to get started to fulfill God’s perfect plan?
